Falling down.

The topic of fainting goats came up at a party this weekend. I do find that the concept of swooning ungulates usually makes ideal small talk in an informal situation – it’s mentioned in all the top self-improvement books. Basically, they’re the Norman Wisdom of goats, a breed that stiffen up and topple over whenever they’re surprised. Not generally the best of predator defenses, particularly if you’re halfway up a mountain, as goats often tend to be.

Let me demonstrate (don’t worry, no involuntary sky-diving in this; it’s all in a lovely green pasture):

Look at the poor things - they’re like a novelty domino rally. If this occurred in the wild, lions wouldn’t roar; they’d shout ‘Boo!’, leaving a field full of finger food without any of that awkward chasing and jumping.

Breed it into humans and we’ll end wars forever. One gunshot and everyone falls over…

 

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